New International Version (NIV)
The Year of the Lord’s Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners
2 To proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
I want to talk about guilt. Guilt comes into our lives for many reasons. Our past mistakes haunt us. Situations arise in our families and relationships and for some of us, things out of our control have plagued our childhood. For myself I was pressured to make good grades and stay on the straight in narrow. But at a young age, I was exposed to pornography, masturbation, and living a life of secrecy. I knew there was a God, but my view of Him was a punisher and not of love.
As I battled my addiction to porn, it wasn't long before I gave up my virginity to someone who didn't give a hoot about themselves much less me. After him I gave my body to anyone that would take the time. This was because I felt like I wasn't worthy of true love. I was ashamed and I would pray, but I didn't believe my prayers were being heard. Depression, alcohol, not keeping a job, porn, and fake friends had my life twisted. I literally lost my mind and did not know who I was. It got to the point where I felt uneasy all the time. I don't know how, but God yelled at me! It felt like a yell and He got my attention. He told me to move. I moved physically as well as mentally, spirituality, and emotionally. Well how did you do that Belinda? I talked to God like I would talk to you. I was raw. My broken, crazy, sex crazed, wine loving, cursing, stressed to the max, people-hating self just talked to God. The presence of a true, miracle-working Savior makes darkness leave. I didn't do anything except for trust Him with the mess I was and still am.
I'm not perfect, but my Jesus is. He paid this price and knew what I would do but He died anyway. All He wants is relationship. So, don't beat yourself up. Don't try to get perfect before meeting Him. Come to Jesus as you are and let Him love on you. He is everything you are searching for. All of those things will satisfy for a moment, but guilt is your next friend. All these habits and addictions numb our true issues and hurt. But that hurt will remain until you allow Jesus to take that hurt. As you rely on the goodness of God, the guilt will leave. Freedom is here for you, just receive!
I love you! Be blessed.